About Us
Jake Thiessen, PhD & Nicolee Hiltz, PhD
Who we are...
We are Nicolee Hiltz, PhD and Jake Thiessen, PhD, co-founders of Couples at Crossroads. Having spent many years working with individuals and couples struggling to find the kind of healthy way of relating most of us want, we decided to join forces to develop Couples at Crossroads.
Our vision is to provide support for individuals and couples who want to move forward with their lives by either deepening their current relationship or by acknowledging that their relationship has come to an end.
At its core, Couples at Crossroads seeks to affirm the fact that personal and relational growth can be achieved by engaging courage and compassion.
Nicolee Hiltz, PhD
"For as long as I can remember I have loved the arts. There is a very real way in which the art I enjoy affects the work I do. I am always looking through the layers to understand how things fit, how harmony can be created and how changes can be introduced to create a more effective “picture.”
I was raised in a small, Central Pennsylvania community, the adopted daughter of an engineer and a homemaker. My childhood offered an opportunity to experience the depth and breadth of a large, extended family. It was a pretty normal childhood with experiences of supportive family interaction and a few memorable occasions of difficulties and dysfunction. The fact that I was adopted and eventually developed a relationship with my birth mother allowed me to experience the complexity of family life and has contributed to my appreciation for a wide variety of human experience.
Attending Juniata College, I gained knowledge and earned a degree but more importantly, by attending a small liberal arts college, I learned how to be curious. For me, college was a time to wonder and gain insight while keeping the bigger picture in mind. Juniata allowed students to create their own course of study. I created a combination of Psychology (the individual), Social Work (serving people in context of the community) and Art (creativity). Overall, college was an experiential turning point. It brought an opportunity for growth and change with choice. I realized, knowledge can be acquired almost anywhere. Maturity, purpose, curiosity, and awareness, on the other hand, are acquired as the result of actively participating in and experiencing one’s own life.
After graduating college, I moved to Philadelphia and attended Temple University earning a Masters in Education and a Doctorate in School Psychology. My internships included work with childhood cancer survivors at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia as well as adolescent girls at an inpatient psychiatric school and hospital. These experiences helped me gain perspective. I developed an awareness of cultural differences and an appreciation for the influence of both nature and nurture. Getting to know children and adolescents facing life and death challenges with true resilience also had a profound effect on me. It helped form a foundation of empathy, interest and curiosity that underpins the clinical work I do today.
A thread that runs through all my experiences, both personal and professional, is my ability to think creatively. It’s my style and is intrinsic to who I am. For as long as I can remember I have loved the arts. This includes visual arts like painting and photography as well the performing arts like acting and theater. I love to paint and have done professional interior design. I’ve done some amateur acting and find that it is just another way for me to get into a different character or personality and appreciate someone else’s perspective. These interests reflect my curiosity about how things fit with each other and how new things can be created to improve an existing situation. There is a very real way in which the art I enjoy affects the therapy I do. I am always looking through the layers to understand how things fit, how harmony can be created and how changes can be introduced to create a more effective “picture.”
Like everyone, I have had my share of the bumps and bruises life offers. I have also had an abundance of privileges and opportunities. The net result of my personal and professional background is that I believe I am able to relate well to the life situations most clients bring to their efforts to improve their relationship.
Jake Thiessen, PhD
"I believe the most productive focus of therapy is on the here and now as opposed to the there and then. Granted, we are all, in many ways, the product of our history so it is often important to explore events from the past. But, the only place we can affect change is in the present. As a result, my primary interest is in how one experiences one’s self and others in the present."
The first eighteen years of my life were spent in rural Central Kansas. After graduating college with a degree in English, I attended the University of Grenoble in France for a year. From there I moved to Ouargla, an oasis in the Algerian Sahara, where I taught English as a second language for two years. Experiencing the contrast between continents and cultures at an early age began to teach me an appreciation for the differences that naturally occur between people.
When I returned to the States I began graduate work. My graduate education includes a masters in theology and marriage and family therapy from Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, California which I received in 1977. In 1979 I earned my doctorate in marriage and family therapy from Texas Tech University, Lubbock, Texas. Currently, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist. After completing my formal academic education, I taught marriage, family and parenting related courses full time at the college level for fifteen years while maintaining a private practice.
My post-doctoral education includes certifications in Conjugal Relationship Enhancement, Couples Communication, Collaborative Divorce Coaching, Divorce Mediation and Focusing. In addition to five years of training in existential-gestalt therapy, I have received ongoing training in couple therapy and couples sex therapy. My life experience and profession training have taught me to appreciate and respect the unique qualities of each individual’s life path.
My orientation to working with couples is essentially existential and experiential. That means I tend to believe the most productive focus of therapy is on the here and now as opposed to the there and then. Granted, we are all, in many ways, the product of our history so it is often important to explore events from the past. But, the only place we can affect change is in the present. As a result, my primary interest is in how one experiences one’s self and others in the present.
My primary interest is in relationship difficulties. As humans, we are essentially relational and emotional beings. Because of this, I work with couples whenever possible. Change occurs most efficiently in the context of an intimate relationship where we have an opportunity to feel accepted just as we are. Most of us want to feel that no matter how messed up we are, we are still lovable and deserve respect. Whatever the format of my work with couples, my goal is always to offer a safe environment to address those things that keep us from feeling loved and respected.